An Open Conversation on My Experience Rereading Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah (spoilers included)

I realized after finishing Firefly Lane that I could not do another nonspoiler review over this novel. I have too much I want to say that includes spoilers to do that. Although there will be parts where there are no spoilers in this post I would recommend reading the novel and coming back. 

As many of my long time blog followers know every since I read Firefly Lane last May 2013. I haven't been able to stop talking about the impact it has made on me. By the end of the year I knew I wanted to reread Firefly Lane sometime in 2014. 

I think one of the reasons I wanted to reread this novel was the connection I felt to TullyandKate. They became best friends on Firefly Lane in 1974 when they were young and carefree and would ride down summer hill with their arms out, sharing secrets. It was their friendship against the world. They had the dual dream of becoming TV journalists. Until one day Kate realized that was not her dream. It was Tully's. Kate followed her friend through most of their college years into their early 20s. Things changed when Kate married Johnny Ryan. The guy she loved, but could never get over the jealously that Tully had him first. 

After Kate's marriage and the birth of her baby girl Marah Rose. Tully and Kate's life took different paths. Kate was happy being a stay at home mom while Tully was still hungry for acceptence. Tully continued to climb in her career while Kate tried to find meaning in her life. As they grew older their friendship suffers its ups and downs, but when they needed each other they were there for each other. 

Kate is the character I relate to the most. She spent most of her adolescent alone with books as her only friend. Although I didn't spend high school alone with no friends it felt that way because I knew once we got out of high school most of the friendships would end and I was right. Kate was desperately alone until she met Tully. Kate revealed in having a best friend so much that she was afraid to have her own dreams. Tully dream of becoming a journalist became Kate's dream also until Kate discovered that she didn't want to climb the ladder of success, but wanted a much more simple life. Kate married Johnny Ryan and they had their daugther Marah. Kate loved motherhood and although Marah was a difficult baby Kate was determined to be the best mother possible. She want to constantly be by her daughter's side and watch her grow. They wanted more kids, but Marah was 8 before Kate fell pregnant with the twins William and Lucas. Kate traveled into the teenage years and boy it wasn't an easy time with Marah constantly trying to break her down. Kate was always searching for some sort of meaning in her life. Was she wrong to give up her career? 

I related to Kate so much because her dreams were so simplistic. I don't often tell people, but everybody who know me know I have dreamed of being a mother my whole life. Not saying I want to grow up any faster than I already am, but kids have always been apart of my future. I hope the guy I meet feels the same way. 

Towards the end of the novel Kate is diagnosed with stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer. The first time reading the novel I though Kate's illiness consumed the novel. This time I found it rather shocking that it came about when there weren't too many pages left in the book. Kate's cancer still felt like a lifetime. I had to watch a character I fell in love with die. It ripped my heart out just the way it did the first time. 

Then there is Tully. Tully Hart had an abnormal childhood. Her mother, Cloud, abandoned her and she lived with her grandma for most of her life. She grew up never feeling loved or accepted and that hurt Tully more then she would show. The Mularkeys became her family in her youth and later the Ryans in womanhood. Tully had a dream of becoming a TV journalist and she wasn't going to stop at any length to complete that goal. Even when Tully had everything she could ever dream of she still felt like something was missing. She didn't have a husband or kids. She just had a mother who abondoned her and her best friend Katie. 

The two words that best describe Tully are brave and selfish. Tully went to great lengths to become a broadcast journalist and that is what makes her brave beyond belief. The dreams Tully holds in her heart despite her abandonment is what makes Tully special.  I would love to have some of her spunk and courage for life. Tully is selfish because the only person she ever truly loves is herself. She does not tell a single person that she loves them until her best friend Kate is dying. Through the years Tully and Kate had their fair share of arguments. In a thirty year friendship it is to be expected, but Tully kept the words I'm sorry locked up inside of her again until Kate was dying. Tully never wanted to admit she was wrong and reconcile the friendship herself. Kate had to always be the one to apologize. What Cloud did to Tully was wrong and it messed Tully up in many ways, but the thing Tully could have done is picked up the phone and told her best friend she was wrong. This is one of the reasons Tully is such a hard character to understand. Even with the whole world as her stage Tully is still looking for acceptance from the one person that will never give it her mother Cloud. 

One thing that hit me hard this time around is the separations. I noticed this time around how much the separations affected their friendships. Even though they are able to reconile and forget their friendship was continually changing through their ups and downs. Kate was not jealous of Tully's success, but she did wish for more in her life. She also wishes that Tully was stop trying to be a parent to Marah. Tully on the other hand wasn't jealous of Kate's life, but she was starting to realize that the only thing she really had in her life that was important was her career. She didn't have people that were waiting for her to come home at the end of the day like Johnny did. 

The second time through I think I connected to Tully and Kate at even more personal level, which is why the ending was once again hard for me. I thought I wouldn't cry the 2nd time around because I had already been through this story. I knew the ending was sad. As I approached the last page when Katie's funeral was held I began to cry. I related to these characters. I fell in love with these characters. While I couldn't always explain Tully's action. I understood Katie's actions. With Katie, the center of the family gone, they are left to struggle through the world. 

I especially relate to Marah losing Kate. I had a friend who lost her mom suddenly in a car accident during our Junior year of high school. I saw how much that effected my friend and changed her. She lost the most important person in the world. Marah's grieve even while Kate was alive was very real. 

"I know you'll be thinking that I left you, but it's not true. All you have to do is remember Firefly Lane and you'll find me. There will always be a TullyandKate." (Firefly Lane 478). 

Kate's last words to Tully are what really made me tear up even after her death and through her cancer Kate continue to be the best friend she could be. She said that her family would find a way to move on, but she worried about Tully. She reassured her that she had not left her. Tully had watched everybody walk away from her whole life. Kate had always been there for Tully. She had always loved and cared for Tully. Kate never walked away from the friendship. Even after their estrangement Kate let Tully come back into her world. Tully was full of regrets for missing out on this time with Kate, but I think it was important that they were able to reconcile and spend the last months of Kate's life as friends. 

Memories are important in life. Every single one of us has happy and sad memories. The thing about when a person dies is that you forget the bad memories and just remember the good ones. Tully needed to remember Kate and help Kate's family through those hard times. There is a place or an item that always makes us remember the ones we have lost. I think of my grandpa every time I look at our sandbox in the backyard. My grandpa built that sandbox for us as kids and it always has been a fond memory. Rubric cubes also bring back the memory of my grandfather because he is the only person I knew that could solve them. I still can't. For TullyandKate all their memories were summed up in two words. Firefly Lane. The time where they would young and carefree. TullyandKate was just one word and they were known as the Firefly Lane girls. Although life must go on without Kate, her memories will always be very much alive. In the faces of her children, her grieving husband, her best friend Tully, and down on Firefly Lane. 

I have so enjoyed rereading Firefly Lane. I don't think this is my last time reading this novel, but I do know this is my last time reading it for a few years. I think Firefly Lane is going to be one of those great comfort reads. Whenever I'm going through a rough time I can pick up Firefly Lane and get lost in TullyandKate's world. I think coming back to this novel in motherhood I might see it in a different light. I didn't ever think I would find a book that I would want to reread over and over again, but Firefly Lane is that book. I enjoy getting lost in this novel and it was so worth the journey of rereading the novel. What a ride. I relate to a lot of this novel and I think anybody who reads it will relate to something. I'm going to continue to recommend this amazing novel. 

*ps I cried while writing this review also*

Book Review: Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo with Lynn Vincent (no spoilers)

Book: Heaven is for Real
Author: Todd Burpo with Lynn Vincent
Publication: November 2nd, 2010
Source: Audio Book from Local Library
Read: April 14-17,2014
Summary (From Goodreads):

"Do you remember the hospital, Colton?" Sonja said. "Yes, mommy, I remember," he said. "That's where the angels sang to me."

When Colton Burpo made it through an emergency appendectomy, his family was overjoyed at his miraculous survival. What they weren't expecting, though, was the story that emerged in the months that followed--a story as beautiful as it was extraordinary, detailing their little boy's trip to heaven and back.

 Colton, not yet four years old, told his parents he left his body during the surgery-and authenticated that claim by describing exactly what his parents were doing in another part of the hospital while he was being operated on. He talked of visiting heaven and relayed stories told to him by people he met there whom he had never met in life, sharing events that happened even before he was born. He also astonished his parents with descriptions and obscure details about heaven that matched the Bible exactly, though he had not yet learned to read.

 With disarming innocence and the plainspoken boldness of a child, Colton tells of meeting long-departed family members. He describes Jesus, the angels, how "really, really big" God is, and how much God loves us. Retold by his father, but using Colton's uniquely simple words, "Heaven Is for Real" offers a glimpse of the world that awaits us, where as Colton says, "Nobody is old and nobody wears glasses."

 "Heaven Is for Real" will forever change the way you think of eternity, offering the chance to see, and believe, like a child

.

My Thoughts

I can understand why people did not enjoy this book. This is one of those books that you have to have faith in God and believe to enjoy. I haven't always had a strong faith in God, but I do know I believe in God. Ever since I have came to college my faith has been renewed. I tell people all the time about my religion and why I believe. That has helped me to understand my faith.

I listened to the audiobook of Heaven if for Real. I expressed a desire to read this book to one of my friends and she told me the narrator of the audiobook was amazing. I really have to agree. The interview at the beginning of the audiobook was a bit boring, but after that I really got into the book. The narrator's voice was able to change tones with the characters and I found his voice to be really amazing for this book.

The first thing that really struck me about this book was in the interview. Colton's said ", I like this book because it is true. That is what really happened." Throughout the book I often thought of that one quote that all of this did happen. I did not believe everything in this book some parts could have been exaggerated to make the book better, but I do believe a lot of what Colton said in this book was true.

The first moments of this book were agonizing going through Colton's surgery. Although I knew he would survive. I still felt every emotion his parents Todd and Sonja felt in that moment. I felt their pain and their sense of relief when the ordeal was over. That is what first got me into the book. After that I just wanted to continue listening. I kept finding excuses to go places just so I could listen to Colton's story.

Another thing that struck me throughout this novel was the idea of child-like faith. Children have a unique faith in the fact that they do not question God's existence, but just believe. They do not feel the need to show off their faith in order to be a "Good Christian." They are not boastful or proud or feel the need to pray for the sake of praying. This idea of child-like faith in this novel is the way God would like our faith to remain, but adults don't have the luxuries children do. Children don't go through trials as adults do and that is what changes our faith.

I have always had a picture of Heaven in my mind. The pearly, golden gates and walking into God's arms. Colton made Heaven a happier place for me to. I have always believed in eternity, but Colton made eternity that much more real. I still don't know if you can actually go to Heaven and come back. I believe God gave Colton some sort of experience so he could share his faith with the people back here on Earth. Doubting Thomas is talked about towards the end of the novel. Thomas was a man that didn't believe anything unless he saw it. That is why do many people don't believe in God is because we are not able to see or hear him. We just have to believe. Through Colton's journey he is able to tell people I have seen the light and it is beautiful. I hope this book has touched some nonbelievers in the way it has touched me.

Colton's father Todd Burpo is a pastor and I think that is what also made this novel powerful because whenever Colton offered a new piece of information about Heaven, Todd would hear Bible verses running through his head and put the Bible verses in the book. Colton never contradicted anything said in the bible actually he had almost the same description as many parts of the Bible. That is what made me believe so much more. I do have to admit I do not believe in everything in the Bible, but I do believe in most of it. So Colton's child-like faith matching up with the Bible strengthen my faith in Heaven.

I have been told for years to read Heaven is for Real. I always put off reading it because I did not believe you could go to Heaven without dying and I still don't, but I do believe that God worked some miracle on Colton so that he could share his faith with the world. It is very brave of Todd and Sonja Burpo to share his story with the world. As stated at the end of the book this story has been a blessing, but it came with days of suffering agony. It was not always a happy story. God worked a wonderful miracle and it was all written into this novel so thousands of people could be touched by this story. I'm proud to finally be one of those people. Heaven is for Real changed the way I think about my faith and Heaven.

I do think the movie will changes pieces of this story and exaggerate pieces of the book in order to make the film more interesting, but if the film helps people to discover faith then it has done its job. I think the book is wonderful and I hope to see the movie soon. I think the images of Heaven the movie creates will make the images I imagined while listening to this book all that much more powerful.


*This is my thoughts and views on religion related to this novel. My faith is my faith and I do not want to pressure anybody to believe in things they do not believe. This book may not be for everybody, but I highly recommend it. All negative comments about religion related to this novel can and will be deleted. We live in a free country and are all allowed to have our opinions, but I do not need to hear criticize about my choice of publish this review showing my real views on religion.*

Book Review: Four Friends by Robyn Carr (no spoilers)

Book: Four Friends
Author: Robyn Carr
Publication: March 25th, 2014
Source: From the Publisher for Review
Read: April 6-14, 2014
Summary (from Goodreads):

Gerri can't decide what's more devastating: learning her rock-solid marriage has big cracks, or the anger she feels as she tries to repair the damage. Always the anchor for friends and her three angst-ridden teenagers, it's time to look carefully at herself. The journey for Gerri and her family is more than revealing—it's transforming.

 Andy doesn't have a great track record with men, and she's come to believe that for her a lasting love is out of reach. When she finds herself attracted to her down-to-earth, ordinary contractor—a man without any of the qualities that usually appeal to her—she questions everything she thought she wanted in life.

 Sonja's lifelong pursuit of balance is shattered when her husband declares he's through with her New Age nonsense and walks out. There's no herbal tonic or cleansing ritual that can restore her serenity—or her sanity.

 Miraculously, it's BJ, the reserved newcomer to Mill Valley, who steps into their circle and changes everything. The woman with dark secrets opens up to her neighbors, and together they get each other back on track, stronger as individuals and unfaltering as friends.

My Thoughts:

* I received this book free from the publisher for review. I did not receive any compensation for this review. All thoughts and feelings about this novel are my own.*

I have never read a Robyn Carr book before so when I was contacted by the publisher for this book. I read the summary and said yes. As I begun reading this book I compared this authors writing to Debbie Macomber. There were key differences that I didn't like about this novel. 

Going into this book I was expecting the book to be more about friendships than relationships. It ended up being more about the four failed marriages than the relationships the women shared. Gerri had the most shocking story. She is the last person that you would think her marriage would fall apart, but when their marriage crumbled they had to find a way to pick up the pieces. Then there is recklessly Andy with two failed marriage under her belt, the new man that comes into her life is different in a good way. The third fried in Sonja who lifelong passion is to relax through herbs and tonics she control everything in her life and her husband until her husband leaves and Sonja's world is shattered. The fourth friend is BJ, the mysterious, shy neighbor with a sensitive side that truly sees people. 

I think my biggest problem with this novel is that I found the characters hard to relate to. I have never been in a serious relationship much less gotten married and gotten divorced. I think this novel may fit better with an older audience. I have read books before with much older women and been fine with not relating to them. In this book I was always looking for a way to relate to the characters and their decisions and I just couldn't. I also think the wide range of characters in this books made the characters lack depth. Robyn Carr only had a little bit of time to spend on each character so al the stories were able to be in the book and intertwine. I also felt that the male characters had very little time in the spotlight. Gerri's husband Phil was the only one I felt I really knew by the end of the novel. I can't say I particularly liked Phil or understood his decisions which made the ending all that much harder for me to enjoy. I felt the rest of the male characters were pretty washed out. By the end of the novel George was just a nice guy and Bob was hopelessly in love. 

I read the ending late at night and I was really tired so I don't know if that changed my opinion of the ending, but I found it way too predictable for this novel. There was a sense of wrapping up towards the end of the novel. Every character was given an ending and I liked that. I didn't want to be left hanging with any of the characters. 

I decided to give the book 3 stars because I neither loved it nor hated it. I was just somewhere in between the whole time. I could see why people would love this book I just wasn't one of them. I would say I liked the book, but I'm not jumping up and down about the book. I thought it was a good story I just wish there was more depth with the characters. This is my first Robyn Carr book and I would be willing to read more of her books in the future because I'm sure she has a book that I will really enjoy. 

The theme in this book that did win me over that was even in times of crisis friends will always be there to dry your tears and help you carry on. Gerri, Andy, Sonja, and BJ faced many tribulations and triumphs in this novel at the end of the day they were still friends. That is my take away from this novel. 

Thanks

2014 Book of the Year Bracket Challenge Sign Up

Erratic Project Junkie

The Book of the Year Bracket Challenge is a blogging challenge open to all reading bloggers and operated by Elle at Erratic Project Junkie.  Participants set a goal for the number of books they wish to read in a year and then enter those books into an NCAA style bracket of any size and in any order they choose. During January 2015, all participating bloggers will begin working through their brackets, eliminating books and picking champions with the ultimate goal of naming their favorite book (book of the year) for 2014. For all BOTY Bracket Challenge information, scheduling, and updates, visit Erratic Project Junkie.

January 3rd : Reveal starting brackets.

January 6th : Initial eliminations. All rounds of eliminations needed to get the number of contestants reduced to 32. 

January 8th : Elimination to find the Sweet Sixteen.

January 10th : Reducing challengers to eight books - the Elite Eight.

January 13th : Quarterfinals. Determine your Final Four.

January 15th : Semi-Finals. Only two may enter the final arena.

January 17th : Finals...the Champion will be determined. Announce your Book of the Year! 

I'm so excited to join this challenge. It is every book I have read this year put up against each other to see which book wins. I have already started on my bracket and who knows who the winner. This is a fun project and I hope more people will join. I'm going to be doing the 64 bracket. If I don't read 64 books then I will just leave out some of the brackets. I read around 66 books last year. 

Bout of Books 10.0 Wrap Up

Another Bout of Books comes to an end. This was a fun ride. I read 583 pages in 16 hours 20 minutes in 7 days. My goal was to read 15 hours so I completed that goal. I wanted to finish reading Just Destiny by Theresa Rizzo for review, finish rereading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, and finish Phoenix Overture by Jodi Meadows. I did manage to finish Phoenix Overture by Jodi Meadows, but had about 30 pages left in The Book Thief and Just Destiny when the readathon finished. I finished both books on May 19th. All the books featured in this post have now been finished. 

Books Started: 

Books Finished:

I took this Bout of Books as my chance to finish some of the novellas on my kindle app on my mac. Cinderella is Evil by Jamie Campell was an amazon freebie. I borrowed Four: The Transfer by Veronica Roth from my digital library, and I purchased Phoenix Overture by Jodi Meadows. I finished 3 novellas during this readathon and they were all great. I will have some quick reviews of these up soon.